the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
