saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
