I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
