Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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