I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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