I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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