We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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