She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
