he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
