Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize