She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
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When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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