You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
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i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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