if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
God gave him joint rollers for hands
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
