Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
