stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
