oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
