were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
we should paint friendship bongs
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