i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
