I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
