You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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