Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize