He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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