ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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