I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize