I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
