I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
