i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
