Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
