You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.