If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat