Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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