it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
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This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine