Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?