I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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