and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize