how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
