so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Small penises have feelings too.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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