I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also, beer. Big fan.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
