whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
