you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
