Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
