PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Panties = found
Randomize
