I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just google imaged poop.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
