I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
