Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
