I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
