I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
