Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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