I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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