Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
