He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
