You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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