i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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