she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
