I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
