the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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