dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
PANTIES FOUND
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