Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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