Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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