I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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