If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
