BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My life is pants optional.
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