You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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