Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
