At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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