jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
